


boxing with deep fried mars bars

by SleepWontVisitMeAnymore



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Domestic Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 12:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3208940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepWontVisitMeAnymore/pseuds/SleepWontVisitMeAnymore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On one fateful tuesday, Clint thinks something weird is going on...and what he finds is SO not what he was expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	boxing with deep fried mars bars

It started with the coffee. The Avengers team was split evenly with early risers and night owls who slept until 4pm if they could. Steve, Bruce and Clint – the Super Breakfast Club, as Clint calls them – are all up pretty much with the sunrise. After a year of living at Stark Tower, they've fallen into a nice routine. Bruce cooks, because he's a total health nut and Clint got tired of eating his fried egg, bacon and onion bagels under Bruce's unwavering disapproving gaze. Clint washes up, and Steve, usually dripping with sweat from his 20k morning run, makes the coffee. Because Tony insists on having the most outrageously upgraded coffee maker and Steve is the only one of the Super Breakfast Club who can work the 100s – literally 100s – of dials and produce decent caffeine without swearing and or throwing the machine out the window. It didn't happen suddenly, or maybe it did, and Clint was too busy complaining about his 'rabbit food' cereal to notice. So he has no idea how long it had been happening when, on one fateful Tuesday, he's washing up 4 mugs, instead of 3. He shrugs it off, thinking it was probably Nat.

*

A few hours later, Clint and Tony head to S.H.I.E.L.D's New York headquarters to attend a meet and greet with newly graduated agents. Clint mostly goes to these stuffy office functions for the free food, which is why as soon as they walk into the large conference room, he heads for the snack table. Tony trails behind him, stopping to turn on his charm to the group of woman agents who walk up to say hello to him. A few minutes later, with a heaped plate of sandwiches in one hand, and a can of Dr. Pepper in the other, Clint heads out to the patio. Agent Hill smiles at him as he passes her, as she talks to a colleague. Clint spots Tony sitting by himself, over in a quiet corner, talking on the phone, grinning like an idiot. Clint rolls his eyes, assuming it's Tony's new fling and heads back into the conference room to mingle. When Agent Hill comes up and quietly tells him he's allowed to leave, Clint searches out Tony, and finds him exactly where he was 2 hours ago. He has his back turned, looking at the view of the city while listening intently to what the person on the other end of the phone is saying. Clint walks up and is almost only a few feet away when Tony starts talking.

“Okay fine, no more Rocky films, for now. I don't get why you hate them so much, it's a modern fairytale with the best soundtracks in the world..... Alright, alright! Well that rules out Millionaire Dollar Baby, you are such a party pooper. First the deep fried mars bar, now this! I can't win with you!”

Clint clears his throat, Tony jumps and squeaks in surprise. Clint laughs, causing whoever is on the phone to say something rapidly to Tony and promptly hang up.

“Sorry dude, time to go.” Clint says, gesturing to the door with his thumb.

“Oh right, yeah.” Tony says, standing up quickly and brushes past Clint, almost running to the exit.

“Well, that's not suspicious at all.” Clint murmurs to himself.

*

Clint finds Nat in the living room, flipping through a InStyle magazine.

“Hey.” he says, flopping onto the couch next to her.

“Hey,” she replies, shifting her weight so her feet are resting across his lap. “How was the thing?”

“It was good, they had mini cheesecakes.” Clint says, wiggling his eyebrows. Nat rolls her eyes and goes back to reading. “Have you noticed anything weird around here recently?” he asks, playing with the small silver chain on her right ankle.

Nat purses her lips. “Have you?” she asks, putting the magazine down. Clint shrugs. Bruce walks quickly through the door, brows furrowed.

“What's up with you?” Clint asks him. Bruce sits on the nearest chair, leans back and says

“I just heard the weirdest conversation.”

*

After Tony and Clint leave for the meet and greet, Bruce heads for the library on the 3rd floor. Since moving into Stark Tower, he has made it his personal mission to read every book in Tony (and Howard's) extensive collection. He is currently half way through War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. After an hour or so of pleasant silence, he hears Steve walking up the stairs to his bedroom.

“Because it's disgusting, that's why. Chocolate is perfect just the way it is, who was the genius who decided to throw a bar of the stuff into a giant pot of boiling oil?”

Bruce smiles softly, it always amused him to see Steve acting like the 27 year old he technically is. Steve walks slowly down the hallway, stopping just outside the half open library door.

“Wow, that story changed me. I see the light now, how could I have been so blind?......of course I'm joking, how would the knowledge that you once ate 3 at a carnival and then passed out on a ferris wheel make me what to try one?”

He then laughs, and it's not a laugh Bruce has heard before. It's lighthearted, and almost a....giggle.

“Stick with your day job, baby. Don't take this the wrong way, but you would be the worst car salesman ever.” Bruce's mouth drops open. Steve's still talking as he walks into his bedroom and shuts the door.

Bruce's eyes are wide, his book lays forgotten on his knee. As quietly as possible, he vacates the library and runs downstairs, with one word playing over in his head: sales **man.**

*

Bruce finishes telling his story, and so Clint decides to share what he overheard earlier. And then, all at once, the penny drops.

“Oh. My God.” Clint squeaks.

“You don't think...?” Bruce says quietly.

It is at this moment when Thor walks into the living room, yawning, his long blond hair falling into his eyes.

“Morning big guy.” Clint says.

“Good morrow Clint, how is everybody?” Thor asks, sitting down on the oversized bright red bean bag he got for christmas last year.

“Well...” Clint starts.

“We just figured out Steve and Tony are dating, at least we think they are.” Nat says cooly. Bruce nods. Thor raises his eyebrows.

“This is true. They have been “a thing", as young Darcy says, for over a year. You all know this!” he is greeted with 3 startled faces looking back at him and his face falls. “Has Loki poisoned you to create memory loss?” Thor asks, worriedly. Clint shakes his head. 

“Nope big guy, we had no idea.” 

“Well, you know now.” Thor says, smiling.

And that's when Steve and Tony walk through the door. 

“Ah the young lovers! Fine day, is it not!” Thor says to the pair, standing up.

“Alas, I now require the glorious caffeine, excuse me.” he leaves the room gracefully, not noticing Steve and Tony giving each other “oh shit” faces. 

Clint starts laughing, quietly and then not so quietly. Bruce joins in, covering his mouth with his hand. Nat doesn't laugh, but she grins over at Steve, and winks at him, Steve rolls his eyes and grins back at her.

"Hey, what do you guys think of deep fried mars bars?" Tony asks, throwing himself down on the bean bag.

And they all lived happily ever after.

 

_ The End.  _

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I seem to write best when sleep deprived and loaded up on coffee.  
> I sat down and thought 'time to write me a fanfic' and this is the result.  
> I think I'm going to avoid writing angst from now, what with *spoiler alert* Civil War being in our near future, we need all the fluff and humour we can get!  
> Enjoy! xxxx


End file.
